Exactly 10 articles ago, I held a discussion article called “Who Do You Want to Be in 2030,” which challenged the readers to join the comment section with their answer to my question. The discussion article question was well… The question was in the title.

That article hit triple digits in the comment section! It is the current owner of the most comments on Self Stairway at a cool 100 comments.

It seems to have gone really well so I’m going to be creating a discussion thread every 10 articles (which is every 10 weeks) where the focus will be on the comment section and the discussion it generates.

Last month, I wrote “6 Outrageous Lies You Believe About Achieving Success” and it generated some good discussion where people were voicing their opinions for or against my points. It was a more controversial topic so there were people in the comments that very tactfully disagreed with a few points, something that I was more than happy to see.

I’m not saying you have to read the entire article now, but I would suggest you read it for some ideas for this because this week’s question is:

What do you think is/are the biggest success myth(s)?

I used to be such a wuss when it came to any sort of social interaction because I used to be afraid of what people think. Now, I LOVE talking and meeting new people. I’ll let you in on how I did that a little bit later, but first, some stories.

Back in middle school, my heart would begin to beat faster and faster when I knew my name would be called for “popcorn reading.” For those who don’t know what that is, it is a classroom taking turns reading passages from a book.

What if my voice sounded funny? What if puberty wasn’t kind and decided to make my pitch higher in the middle of a sentence? Oh God, what if I mispronounce “Algernon?!”

Hell, I was afraid to order food at McDonalds by myself at one point!

This fear of having others hear my own voice transitioned into another problem that I find common in a lot of people, the fear to talk to others (especially strangers.) You probably have this fear for the same reasons as most others. You think others will react negatively and think you’re weird for talking to them.

Throughout the years, I’ve learned several things. People love to be spontaneous, they love to be the hero—or heroine—and they enjoy talking to people. There’s about 10,000 more things I learned, but those are the three things a lot of people don’t realize about most people. Sure, you’ll eventually run into a handfull that genuinely dislike this sort of contact, but they don’t make up the majority.

Here is what’s really going on in people’s head when you enter their lives (no matter how briefly.)

One of the best ways I cheer myself up is by talking to myself like a stereotypical comedy where the main character is talking to the mirror, hyping himself up for a date. That’s my secret when people ask me to share my methods on how to cheer yourself up.

Every so often I would have these periods of sadness where I’d be beating myself up, feeling sorry for myself, and feeling like I’m alone. Sound familiar? I’m willing to bet many of you have had this happen often as well.

Feeling better about yourself is pretty hard at times like these. Why? It’s because these moments are random and are created by your head through over-thinking. Notice how the three points I mentioned above are feelings that are created from the inside. There’s no external influences that give me proof I should feel that way.

So how do I deal with these tough storms when the waves are pushing me further away from the coast? I talk to myself by pacing around the rooms, using hand gestures, and talking in the third person.

If you want to learn how to cheer yourself up, you wouldn’t worry about how ridiculous you sound or look. You’d take the time to talk to yourself about:

This article was written by Ivan Chan! Give him a warm welcome to Self Stairway in the comments and let him know you enjoyed his article.

Deep down, you know your life is meant to be something more.

So you can’t help but wonder:

“Is this all there is to look forward to in life?”

At first, it’s just idle curiosity. But over time, that innocent little thought starts nagging — starts making you doubt what you’re doing in life. Just a little at first, and then slowly your doubt spreads. Like a disease, it contaminates all other thoughts and makes you question them too.

No longer are you so sure about what you’re doing, or the choices you’ve made, or where your life is heading.

One moment, you thought you were doing OK in life. And then the next, you are desperately trying to shake this scary thought from your head:

“What if my whole life is a waste?”

Not wasted in the dramatic sense like committing a crime and spending the rest of your life in prison. Instead, it is the insidious wasting of a life that takes place over years with many seemingly small, harmless habits and decisions. I came to realize the process of wasting your life is slow and doesn’t happen overnight, but the results are devastating.

During college, I thought the world was my oyster. I was always pushing my limits to see where I could go next. Run for leadership positions in students’ clubs and win? Check. Get sponsored to go on international conferences for free? Yep. Study and live in Japan? Been there, done that.

Fast-forward a few years, and I had “settled down.” You know, the whole 9 to 5, Monday to Friday, office routine. On top of that, I had my chill-out-after-work-in-front-of-the-TV routine. Sure, I still went out with friends, but I couldn’t help but feel my life was reduced to nothing more than a boring rerun.

Day in and day out, it was the same thing over and over again.

And then it hit me: I’m just “putting in time” now, waiting for something better to happen in life. If that’s not wasting my life, I don’t know what is.

Could the same thing be happening to you?

This article was written by Dan Erickson. Please comment at the end of this article to let him know your thoughts!

When I was younger I did crazy stuff. I drove too fast. I partied too much. I hitch-hiked around the Northwest and rode with strangers. You might think I was living dangerously, but nope. I was being stupid.

I didn’t learn how to live dangerously until a few years ago. It took me more than 20 years to learn what living dangerously really means.

Back when I lived the stupid life, I worried about what others thought about me. I worried about my image. I had to have the right clothes, drive the right car, (when I had one), and I had to use the right words.

I was being too careful. I cared too much about my own reputation among the cool crowd. Now I couldn’t care less. Although I’m done with the stupid stuff, I’m living more dangerously than ever and loving it.

Living dangerously has set me free from the expectations of others.

It’s great and you can learn to live dangerously too. Here’s how:

There is a lot of nonsense thrown around when it comes to achieving success. It’s very difficult to distinguish from what’s true or false, especially if it’s something we’re raised from childhood to believe.

You really have to begin to question the validity of these claims. If you find yourself repeating a “fact” and you have no answer when asked why that is, you need to re-evaluate your views. You will also find that you make a lot of enemies if you open your mouth to speak about the issues, but hey, that just comes with the expanded knowledge.

First, let’s define success because obviously it is different for everyone. Although this isn’t my personal definition of success – mine being about passion – many dictionaries cite success as “the attainment of wealth, position, honors, or the like.”

Many people do think of success as being about money and status, so I will address success as if that was the only definition, for the sake of this article.

Here are 6 outrageous lies you probably have been raised to believe about success (money, honor, etc.)

Have you ever had a day where you just felt absolutely miserable, alone, and insecure? Of course you have. If you said “No,” you’re a dirty liar. I’m on to you.

Everyone has these days and often times, it leads to us feeling insecure about ourselves. Then we feel like there’s no one around who cares.

These negative thoughts just keep adding up more and more. Crap, now it’s like a beehive in your head and it’s only getting worse.

I used to be terribly insecure and certain days were worse than others. Hell, I still am. But who cares? I don’t let my insecurity control my actions for more than a split second.

I still remember one day during a party in my friend’s backyard, we were talking about teeth for some reason. Maybe one of us just got braces for the first time. Who knows?

Then I had made a comment about how I needed braces too. Naturally, my friend asked me to show my teeth and I wouldn’t show them.

“Oooh… Insecure!” he said.

That made me feel terrible because I realized he was right. I was insecure and when I was reminded of these feelings, it would drag me down for the rest of the day.

Well, not anymore. The good news is that I will now share my pick-me-up tricks with you, oh lucky reader. All with an easy payment of $29.95!

Actually, I like you so much I’ll give them to you all for free! Here are my secrets on how to feel better about yourself.

Warning: This isn’t the usual cliché list you find on most other sites. No “put on a fake smile until you feel better!” preaches.

Many people spend their entire lives searching for the answer to happiness. Everyone wants to know how to be happy and yet you probably don’t know many people who actually are happy.

It is easy to buy into the idea that there are a lot of happy people just running around. Then you tell yourself that’s who you need to be too! There has to be a secret. Why am I not happy but X and Y are? What do they have that I don’t?

This makes you go on a wild chase for happiness. You want to learn how to be happy, but you’re not!

Then you start asking yourself the wrong questions.

Growing up sucks. I think everyone would tell you the same. I’m not sure why I was so excited as a kid when I thought about growing up. Maybe it’s because I thought there’d be a lot of freedom and that happiness would fall from trees. Money too.

When I was a kid, my friends and I used to love strong winds that would create chaos in our hair. We would run around and pretend we were superheroes. We tied the arm of our jackets around ourselves, pretending the jackets were capes and the wind would make us feel like we were flying at supersonic speeds.

Sometimes we’d pretend we were characters from Dragon Ball Z. Ah, how the strong winds meant a lot to us.

Fast forward to last week when Arizona was experiencing incredibly heavy winds. I couldn’t help but go “Damn it, are you serious?”, as I rushed to the nearest building. I’m an adult now and I don’t have the same sense of excitement towards the elements anymore.

How could I go from someone who flew around in the wind with his super-powered buddies to a person who absolutely hates the wind? Oh, I know! It’s because I’m afraid it’ll ruin my perfectly sculpted hairdo for the day.

When I was a kid, I didn’t care how my hair looked. In fact, I didn’t care how my hair looked until last year!

When I was a kid, all I cared about was living life and enjoying every second with those I loved. What happened to that kid? Where did this Vincent who cares about his hair or what other people think of him come from? Growing up did nothing but weaken my sense of enjoyment.

Spouting “profound” life quotes on a daily basis gets old, but you hear it everywhere. So why am I writing an article called “10 Life Quotes and Lessons to Live By?”, if I’m so anti-quote?

The issue is the fact that some people just quote all day and repeat them without internalizing the message behind it. It doesn’t feel genuine when and I’m not convinced that they really believe in it.

Instead, you need to use life quotes to internalize the ideas. Once you do that, you can move on from the quote.

To me, profound life quotes serve as a reminder when we’ve forgotten the concepts. We shouldn’t rely on quotes for repetition’s sake.

Use the amazing quotes and live by the meaning, not just the words.

With that said, here are some quotes with ideas that I’ve internalized and live by. These quotes focus on different aspects of life and I expand on them to get you pumped and excited for personal development. Focus on the message and begin to implement the life lessons.